At the "Lifesavers" suicide-prevention hotline, a lack of funding has resulted in an eviction notice from the landlord. The hotline is staffed by Philip, the crabby Mrs. Munchnik and the mousy Catherine.
Despite the expectation "of everyone thinking of jumping off a bridge or slitting their wrists on Christmas Eve," the staff has only received calls from a few women frightened by a serial killer called the Seaside Strangler, plus several obscene phone calls.
Mrs. Munchnik, intent on getting to her dead husband's sister's Christmas Eve dinner on time, becomes stuck in the elevator.
Meanwhile, Philip is trying to hide the landlord's eviction notice from Catherine, while at the same time trying to figure out how to raise money to pay the rent and save the hotline. Philip's emotions are further strained when his fiance Susan breaks up with him over the phone.
Catherine's best friend Gracie is experiencing strain of her own, pregnant by her slacker boyfriend Felix, a man she's not sure she can count on as a father. Especially since he just ran out of her vintage clothing store with a Santa Claus suit she could have sold and crashed into a Christmas tree being ported by two innocent Rollerbladers.
Philip has given out the office's address to a caller begging for some personal help. The caller is actually a transvestite named Chris who is tired of taking insults from his-or-her family.
After some unanswered calls for help to clueless songwriter Louie, the neighborhood dogwalker Mr. Lobel finally finds Mrs. Munchnik in the elevator.
Gracie arrives in the lobby, followed close behind by Felix, and they re-activate the lift, much to the fright of Philip and Munchnik, who are now dangling from the top-floor shaft. Thankfully, the elevator stops just short of crushing them.
In the hotline's office, Gracie locks herself in the bathroom, to the agony of the full-bladdered Mrs. Munchnik. Felix continues the fight he and Gracie were having, which ends abruptly when Gracie smacks him in the head with Mrs. Munchnik's fruitcake tin.
Philip and Catherine take Felix to a veterinarian. Gracie refuses to accompany them. At the vet's, Felix overdoses on dog tranquilizers and has to be revived at the hospital.
While making holiday ornaments, Gracie discovers the eviction notice, which Mrs. Munchnik also then notices. Chris (the transvestite) buzzes the doorbell. Ignoring Mrs. Munchnik's plea to not open the door to a possible Seaside Strangler, Gracie flings open the door and knocks Mrs. Munchnik unconscious. Gracie leaves her there in Chris's care.
The power goes out to the building, causing Chris to trip and fall as he tries to answer the phone. The lights are still out when Philip comes back alone from the vet. He is shocked to find Chris there and the unconscious Mrs. Munchnik lying on the floor. Philip tries to subtly ask Chris to leave, but only succeeds in inviting Chris to dance.
Gracie takes Catherine back to the clothing shop for a makeover and some girl talk. They get some Chinese take-out and bring it back to the office. Mrs. Munchnik revives in time to see Philip and Chris slow-dancing. Mrs. Munchnik resolves to tell her story to the Los Angeles Times, intent on destroying Lifesavers.
Felix, still under the influence of dog tranquilizers, barges in with a gun. Chris tries to wrestle it away and Felix shoots him/her in the foot. Gracie empties it by firing all the bullets wildly, including two through the front door. The landlord was behind the door, and is now dead.
Catherine is in shock. Philip runs her a hot bath. They begin to make love as the steam from the bath fogs the room.
Louie and Chris get to know one another, while Gracie and Felix decide what to do with the dead body. Philip and Catherine emerge glowing from the bathroom, only to find the landlord's body missing. They also see Felix and Gracie proudly sticking the last few branches onto a "tree," the trunk of which is burlap sacks wrapped around the dead body.
On the street, they encounter the rollerbladers, who barrel through the group. elix tosses the tree and it crashes to the ground, revealing the dead body.
The police arrive and everyone is held for questioning. Felix confesses to the killing, but Gracie pulls out the gun as proof that she did it. Felix grabs the gun and runs to the top of a nearby building, where it looks as if he will kill himself. But he is stopped by a wonderful counsel from Philip, who at the same time confesses his love for Catherine.
Catherine hands the landlord's bag to the detectives, who search it. They find fishing twine and kelp —- the weapons of choice for the Seaside Strangler.
Having killed a wanted criminal, Gracie gets a reward of $250,000. She offers to pay for Lifesavers' moving expenses, then promptly goes into labor. She gives birth to Felix's child on midnight Christmas Day in a scene that resembles the birth of Jesus Christ). Philip then asks Catherine to marry him.
Mixed Nuts
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