Sing (Stephen Chow), a master of Shaolinquan kung fu, whose goal in life is to let the world know about the benefits of the ancient art, experiments with various methods to inform the modern world about shaolin kung fu, some of which include comedic song and dance routines; all bear no positive results. He then meets Fung (Ng Man Tat), a legendary soccer star in his days, until his teammate Hung, now a rich businessman, paid him to miss a goal. After missing the game-winning penalty kick, Fung's “Golden leg” was broken by an angry baseball bat-wielding mob (who was actually hired by Hung), forcing him to retire from active play, due to his disability. On the day Fung learns of Hung's treachery, he meets Sing while in a drunken state in front of a shopping centre.
Sing tries to explain his desires to promote the modern uses of kung fu to Fung, who initially is unconvinced with Sing's idea and brushes off his pleas. When an irritated Fung throws a beer can at Sing, the youth kicks the can high into the sky, vanishing without a trace, but the old man remains adamant. Later, Fung sees a huge crack in a brick wall some miles away, only to discover that it was caused by the very same beer can Sing kicked and is astounded when the wall breaks down when he removes the can, due to the force of the impact. Fung coincidentally witnesses a fight between Sing and a group of local thugs, who ridicule the Shaolin master. After Sing beats the gang in a one-sided fight, nearly destroying a brick wall just by kicking a soccer ball, Fung is hit with an idea and asks if Sing could use kung fu to play soccer. Sing likes the idea and agrees for Fung to become his coach.
Sing meets Mui (Vicki Zhao), a baker with severe acne who uses Tai Chi to make mantou. Despite her appearance, Sing regularly visits her and even takes Mui to look at very expensive dresses at a high end department store (where he works as a janitor) after hours. She soon forms an attachment to Sing and even gets a makeover. However, this backfires when the excessive amount of make-up used gives her an almost clown-like appearance. When Mui reveals her feelings to Sing, he tells her he only wants to be her friend. This revelation, coupled with the constant bullying from her overbearing boss, leads Mui to disappear.
Reuniting with his fellow Shaolin brothers, who have since led separate, busy lives, Sing and Fung attempt to put together an unbeatable soccer team, albeit after much persuasion and initial rejection by the other brothers. However, Fung is keen on proving his skills, and in order to turn Sing and his players into real soccer athletes, he invites a vicious team, consisting of local thugs (some of whom Sing had encountered previously) to play against them in an exhibition match; rather than score points, the thugs proceed to give the Shaolin team a brutal beating. When all seems lost, the Shaolin disciples reawaken their skills and win. A few of the thugs even beg Sing to be allowed to join their team, giving their squad enough players to compete professionally.